I'm reading quite numbers of books recently and came across this particular book written by David Morris, 'A Lifestyle of Worship'. This book is really challenging right from the start. His struggles and his own doubts about his own faith is also similar to what I'm facing as one of the worship leaders, more over, as the one who is leading the whole team now. There are many times where I doubted and asked myself on my own capabilities, my qualifications, am I the right person to do the right position, and many more intimidating questions imposed to myself. What really keeping me going is definitely because of God's grace. Without that, I think I would have drown myself by all the doubts that I had. There are some reflections that I had from reading the book that I mentioned. I would like to share what David Morris had written and I'll leave it to you how you interpret it. 

So, what about daily devotions? Unfortunately for many of us, they have been neither daily nor devotional - and there are a million reasons why! Perhaps we've looked at them as a chore, a discipline or a test from God. In any case, for most of us daily devotions have at one time or another been less than convenient - and sometimes even stressful. Adding one more thing to an already overcrowded schedule creates more unrest. If only we could be assured that the time we invest will be greatly worth our while. Carefully we whisper to ourselves, Besides fighting guilt and keeping God happy, what will this do for ME?

It's a Question of Ownership

First, we must understand that personal worship and private devotion are based on ownership. Let me ask you a few questions: 

To whom do you belong? In he compartmentalization of your busy life, where is the greatest amount of your affection invested? 

Is Jesus your Lord and Master, or is He an additive to your weekend life like golf is to a busy week? 

Do you allow Him to speak to you at any moment of the day, or must He make an appointment? 

Does He have permission to rearrange your time as He chooses, or must He sit through a negotiation procedure? (I get a little nervous when people talk about arguing with God. Who do you think will win?)

If the earth is the Lord's and everything in it, that means I belong to Him as well. That's why He is a "jealous God". I'm His and that's it! My choice as to how I respond to His ownership can bring either joy or sorrow to my life. The real question is not, How much of my time will I give to Him? No, The real question is, How much of the time He has given me is under His lordship?

In our western culture, independence and arrogant self-centeredness have embraced the late Frank Sinatra's "My Way" as a theme song. Independence from anything that hints of improper control is quintessential to our comfortable existence, which is partly God-given in His "free will" package to humanity. Hoever, in its inflated humanistic stage, it shakes a fist in God's face and says, "Who do You think You are? I'm in charge of my own life."

At some point we must come face-to-face with God's ownership. It's really the only way we can tryly receive His love. If we can embrace the fact that the blood of Jesus purchased us for God, we will find greater peace in knowing He has our lives in His hands, If He owns us by way of la legal purchase agreement, then He must have a vested intrest in his possession. After trying to govern my own life and failing miserably, it's a warm comfort to trust in Someone bigger than I!

The faith factor comes in trusting the God who made me, redeemed me as destined me for sonship from the beginning of time. If what He did on the Cross was just for me (which it was), then His pursuit of me was not finished when He died. He knows I desperately need help applying the power of the Cross to my daily life. My responsibility is to say yes to Him. His responsibility is to do the necessary work: "For it is God who is at work in [me], both to will and to work for His goo pleasure? (Phil 2:13).

He draws me to Himself and I respond by following. Yes, I make the choice to be led like a sheep, but He does the leading like a shepherd. He pursued me first, whether I see that or not. He didn't wait for me to beg for mercy but He died for me before I knew I needed Him. What an incredible love! With a working revelation of His pursuit of me, I find the often hidden desire rising to the surface that must give way to reciprocate the pursuit.

It's as simple as seeing Him show up in an otherwise ordinary day. As you become aware of His presence, it suddenly dawns on you - God is here and you respond, "Oh Lord, I'm once again overwhelmed by Your obvious love for me. My heart cries out...How I love You, Jesus". The pursuit becomes a two-way street, bringing completion to the circle of the relationship. Oh, if only it were like that always...for everyone..

-David Morris-

Some thoughts...

After a long day, finally it has come to an end. After of intense preparation for the youth concert for about a month, it finally paid off the effort tonight. Many youth came and many of them responded to the message. It's all because of God's goodness towards His people. Not even a single glory that we can claim from it. It's purely from Him and from Him alone. Praise be to God.

But nevertheless, hah, yup. There is a "BUT". I rather left the concert unsatisfied. I feel that there are things that could be more better. It troubles me to no end. But again, welcome to my life. Church perhaps is the only place you can find so many imperfect people. Don't get me wrong, that includes me, cause I'm part of the church too. No wonder Jesus have to come to save us and to died for us for there is no other way we can help ourselves. Only God can. Perhaps this is a good thing. So that there are rooms for improvement. Perhaps next week we can do better. A reason not to be complacent.

As I'm driving back from sending my youths back home, a thought came into my mind. I'm working as hard I am previously, in fact, more than my previously actually. But how come I felt more reluctantly to sacrifice? Then I figured out the reason. A TEAM that support you makes a HUGE different. It makes you feel that you're not alone and there are many reasons for you to continue to strive because you know that when you're knocked down, there are people looking out for you. But when you worked alone, no way! But this will not be a reason for me to back up and fold my hand and do nothing. But continue to learn how to provide an atmosphere of working together as a team. Many times, you'll not get the support you wanted from the friends or peers you've expected, in fact, rarely it would happened. But when there are people like that in your life, treasure them. For they are your lifter.

Alright, the rest, maybe perhaps better off to keep in mind as meditation. Good nite!

Prayer has been answered..

Yup, I'm back again.. Suddenly feel like blogging after such a long while I've not update since like, (sigh). What? Like ah, 6 months ago? Hahaha. It's rather busy over here in the church here. Event after events. Well, what's new for this past 6 months? I tell you what's new. I got my MACBOOK PRO... Finally... After so many years of asking God and with my full dedication of believing that one day, one day "You'll be mine!" And true enough, that "DAY" came.. What a journey of faith.

Recently from what I've learned through devotions and also by listening to a few sermons, one one verse prompted me to remind me about a lesson of prayer. In Mark 11:24, it says, "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours". True enough that I've received it. Sometimes I felt that my faith is not that strong either, cause' I always doubt that could I ever have a chance to get a macbook? It's way to expensive and I simply couldn't afford it. Oh ya, did I mentioned it's a gift too? Hahaha..

The Bible clearly said, "WHATEVER you ask for in prayer", whatever means whatever. Whatever also can be ask through prayer. Sometimes we don't dare to ask much or simply we don't believe by asking we can get what we wanted. I believe this is not He intended for us to have such a small faith. Well, my prayers have been answered one by one when the time is right. What I need to do is just to believe. I personally don't think it's too hard. At the first place, you don't even have it, what's wrong with believing that you will get it someday? No harm for me to put my whole self to believe it in. With that, I got my reward.. Thank you God..

*my first post with my mac mac* Ngek Ngek Ngek..

Tsunami in Japan...

A major event has caused the worldwide to be concerned about, especially those neighboring countries of Japan. I’ve been following the news on CNN and it really doesn’t look good at all. Those videos really show how devastating the earthquakes and tsunami are and the damages that causes are enormous. Besides earthquakes and tsunami, now with the addition of explosion of the nuclear power plant has raised the fears of citizen in Japan to another level.

As I am typing, I’m still reading the news. It’s really saddening to witness such news. But what are more depressing is, these people instead of praying or contributing something to ease the pain that the Japanese are facing, they argued over whose fault it was and complained about the situation. These comments that are posted in Youtube and the CNN news are really not necessary and it’s ridiculous. Do what you can help instead of just arguing about religions or whose fault was that. Some even worst, they make fun of the situation. Even some of the Christians went as far as saying that it is the judgment of God because the nations have sinned and went far away from God. I’m not saying that is entirely wrong, but the question is, what is the right thing or the right words to say now?

We all somehow knew that God is the one who is in control, but God is God. He’s sovereign and He’s far more superior to us. We will never know what plan He has for us; from a small individual to a nation. When the nations/countries is experiencing prosperous period, very often we will not mentioned a single bit about God, giving thanks to His blessing and provision. But then calamities comes upon them, then we will start putting all the blames to God. What a joke. Like what Job said to his wife, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”

I don’t know what are the reason behind why God did this, but a visible sign that we all can see is that, the world are united to help those who are in trouble. China are sending over rescue team, money and supplies, U.S troops arrived to support Japanese forces in disaster to relief operations, and I believed that there are many more who can’t wait to help. Disasters, calamities, circumstances or personal struggling happened for one reason, to make us stronger and to unite all the people together to solve the situation.

Japan will be in my prayers especially during this Lent season and give in whatever area that I can.

God, bless Japan and the people in it.

Lesson learned over breakfast

This morning I had a wonderful and fruitful breakfast! Not only nice food, but also met an auntie and uncle from my previous church. Had a good chat with uncle and he slip money into my pocket, in fact lots of them. I’m not saying the piece of money, it’s just an illustration. He told me a lot of history about how he supported the church and how he willing to go from one church to the other just to help the needy church. We young people go from one church to the other is because we feel that the church got issues or we don’t particularly like the church setting or the style or whatever, but this uncle, he did the direct opposite. He purposely went to the church that has needs and he is willing to help. What a man of God. I think now he is at least early 60’s. But still, he and his wife commit to the church where there’s a young priest in charge of the church to support them. What a good example to set to the young people.

He told me one thing that really strikes me. He says “History is very important! You’ve gotta know the history so that the same mistakes wouldn’t be repeated again.” How true!! He starts telling me what he’s gone through and all his experiences in life; in brief.

What conclusion that I draw from him is that, if we (the younger generation) want to be successful in our lives; we need to talk and learn from these aunties and uncles experiences. They had gone through many things in life, both successful and failure in their lives. We truly can learn many from them if we just take the initiative to talk to them. This is also why the same reason why God gave the word to them and ask them to teach their children about who God is and what He had done in the past. By knowing what God has done for their past generation creates faith in the children's life for future development. And why we do need to read the bible now is because we also need to know the history so that we won't repeat most of the mistake that they have made. Quoted from Norman Cousins "History is a vast early warning system."

I’m learning now really how to connect not only to peers, which I think I’ve learned from my previous church, but now also to more elderly people and the younger ones and also the youngest ones. So that in future, it’s useful for me to understand their struggles. Always be willing to learn, you've never know how much you can be a better person.

*A fruitful breakfast that only fills the stomach but also mind!*

Happy Fasting everyone!

Today in Christians calendar marks the beginning of the Lent season where mostly Christians will be fasting and praying to achieve some sort of growth and discipline in our spiritual life. These 40 days fast and pray serves as a reminder to all Christians that Jesus was being tempted 40 days by Satan in the desert the same amount of days and Jesus triumphed over all of the temptations. In this period of time, Christians are ought to be more serious in terms of disciplining and growing our spiritual life. What we do in our daily routines, we will fast at least one of those things that we usually do and replace it with prayer. It could be anything or any form of addiction, such as computer games, ps3, psp, particular food or junk food, drama series, or a particular habit such as scolding and cursing someone while you’re on the hectic massive traffic jam, gossiping, or perhaps using improper language in your conversation to curse and swear.

Well, I'll be fasting mainly 2 things. One is lunch and the very reason why I started to blog again because the second thing that I'm fasting is Facebook. I need to write down somewhere what I’ve learned. *sniff*.Not that I worship Facebook or something, but it really taken me a lot of my time and attention. As I was thinking what to fast besides lunch, well, I thought of Facebook.

You see, facebook, like it or not, it has become a HUGE part in our life. We shared our experiences in life, we upload the photos where we’ve been, share our thoughts, sometimes just update what we’re doing currently and where we are currently.

*The following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event, well mostly*.

For example, when the cinema suddenly experiencing power cut in the middle of the movie, almost immediately you will see many will take out the “torch lights” and they will start harassing the “torch light” and update their status saying “What the heck? Power cut?? WHY? What about my movie tickets? You spoiled my date!” followed by obscene language. How do I know? Mostly, we are also one of them. Instead of taking your “torch light” to shine they way, you shine it on your face. And most of the time, almost immediately, when I said immediately is like real immediately, you’ll get respond pretty fast and those respond are such as “You too?” Then next thing you’ll do when you get the notification is you’ll take a good look at the friend beside you and said, “You’re just beside me dude. Like that also want to comment?” Typical Malaysian English! Hahahaha..

Facebook or some of these networking websites has really spice up our life definitely. Sadly some people misused these good things. Well, today is the beginning of Lent, so happy fasting everyone!

*Since I've decided to fast Facebook, well, blogging is the way to go now!*

Happy Chinese New Year!!

It’s been a while that I wanted to update my blog but due to busyness and “procrastinating”, I’ve not been doing so. I have so many things wanted to share about my life and all the things I’ve learned but don’t know when I got time to put those thoughts in words and due to that it’s bottleneck now. Too many things until I don’t know what to type now. Just type something to get it started first. Hahaha..

It’s been 4 months now I’m away from home. The place where I am now brings me a lot of challenges and I believed for these past 4 months I’ve grown a lot both in spiritually and also physically. Hahaha.. Hard to maintain on physically though. But still ok la.. Still consider “fit” la. I’m really missing home a lot. I missed my mom, my brothers, my church and my friends too. This time is the longest period I’m away from home. But thank God for Chinese New Year.. Hahaha.. I’ll be back to KL again for a week. Hooray!!

I’ve never really appreciate the value of family until I left the home. Well, those who are with your family members now better appreciate them better especially during the festival that is coming. Family is very important among all because this is the one thing that you can’t choose. Among so many choices of life that we have, we can’t choose or decide which family that we’re going to born too. I believed God has His purpose to put us into a specific family. And I’m thinking is to show our love to them. I don’t know about you, but the more I know God through His words, the more actually I love God and I find it easier to love my family. Back then, I really find it hard to love my family, but with God’s grace, I’m a changed person now. I started to value family now. Maybe this is part and puzzle of life. The older you grow, the lesser friends you will have and at the end you’ll find out that, only family will last. Friends are important, but families are more important. Same principle applies to money. Money is important, but God is the most important. During this Chinese New Year festival, choose family over career will ya? Put family first above all else.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone! Don’t gamble ah!! Hahaha.. God bless…