Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Naked I came, naked I will depart

Can't really believed that it's already end of the year of 2009. Oh boy, time really flies this year. Many incidents had happened during this year alone that makes me grow so much especially what happened about a weeks ago.. That was really a heart broken experience. My latest post was about I found my purpose through the camp and of course the sharing of my member about his laptop was being stolen and was damaged, well, mine, sort of similar story. By God's blessing, I was being blessed with an Ipod Touch for my Birthday/Christmas/Anniversary gift that I've long for it for so long. The joy receiving that gift really makes me stumble. No words could express that joy.

My work became so much more efficient with the help of those technology stuff. But who knows, exactly a week ago, my Ipod was being snatched from my hand while I was using it. I am so moody for the couples of days. The week before Tuesday(22/12) I was leading worship on regular Sunday service and yet one of the song that I was leading was "Blessed be Your name". The bridge goes like this, "You give and take away(x2), but my heart still choose to say, blessed be Your name". Every time when I lead this song, I can't really felt the same why the original songwriter who wrote this song, but after this incident, oh... You bet I can..

It's always easier said than done. But by this incident, I knew that my heart is still saying "blessed be the name of the Lord". And the Lord reminded me this, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." - Job 1:21. Now I better understanding of this verse. Originally I am not suppose to have an Ipod, but because God's goodness and blessing I've got it. But if the Lord wants to take it away from me to teach me some precious lesson, I wouldn't say no. What is more important to me is, I would rather loose anything rather than loosing God. God is my source of everything. By taking it away, I also believe that He will be giving me back again. Just the matter of time.

I have years to come to taste God's goodness, but I'll just have to wait.. :-)

I love you God..

Friday, September 25, 2009

Purpose found!

On the 25th of September 2009, I think I found my purpose in life.

This is a journey of me working in a church for almost a year.

I just came back from a camp. They called it the Diocese Young Adult Camp and some called it the Desperate Young Adult Camp. Nevertheless, it is still an inspiring camp after all. Indeed after I joined the camp, I was desperate. Not desperate as in looking for a relationship, which I already have by the way, but I became more and more desperate for God to reveal His wonderful plan to me. What is really my purpose in my life? I’ve been searching and asking for this question within myself for quite some time since after I worked for the past one year in church. I knew that I am going to serve God full time in the church since I received my ever first time calling from God about 4 years ago. My first calling from God was this one word, “Missionary”, so did the 2nd time. I still remembered it happened when I was in the alpha course training on 2005. And God confirmed me again in 2006 before I went to KK for the Diocese Youth Camp. But this time, God showed me totally different pictures all together. God leads me to two pictures, one is I am singing on stage to many people and another one is, I’m giving my speech on the stage. I dare not to use preaching because I’m not too sure yet. And from there onwards I’m struggled which is the one?? Not until now...

Today as usual I had weekly share group (which function like cell group / Christian fellowship / gathering of believers for those who don’t know what a share group is) and one of my member share his story to us that his laptop was being snatched by a thief. Surprisingly to be honest, I don’t know why my compassion towards the thief somehow is more towards my member. To cut the story real short, they caught the thief but the laptop was broken and the guy was being beaten up like nobody business by strangers and the guy is 49 years old and he’s from Peru. Ended up in police station and the guy is still bleeding without medication provided to him because he’s a “criminal”. I shared this to Jenny, and she told me that she has no idea that "I have such a heavy compassion towards people". At first I was shocked as well when I heard that because I thought everyone will felt the same thing how I felt. She added, “Everything starts first with a heart of compassion”. Indeed I believed what she said was true. Jesus was full of compassions towards his people. I personally think that Jesus will cry or at least weep when He saw His people fighting against one another, quarrelling within a relationship and condemning one another within a friendship. Jesus had compassions those who are sick, those who being abandoned, those who are in need, those who are widow, those who are fatherless, and many more. We always tend to see what is on the surface, but Jesus never sees it that way on us. Like the Peru guy, somehow for most of us we will think that, well, maybe he really deserved it because of what he had done. But to me, I’ve asked myself many questions. If he’s not desperate he will not steal. And why he’s desperate? Maybe because he was in need of cash? Why does he in need of cash? Maybe he’s family is poor and maybe he can’t find a job in his own country. And why he can’t find job in his own country? Maybe he wasn’t well educated. And why he wasn’t well educated? Maybe he did not study when he had his chance to do so. And why did he not study hard? Maybe because of broken family or certain reason that makes him that way. Of course there are thousands of possibilities that caused him to be who he is today.

But imagine this, if he would know God anywhere in between his life, maybe he will not be who he is today. If he just knew that God is his provider, he would not steal. If he knew that God could be someone that can be accountable for, he won’t choose his own path. If he would just knew that God is looking after him, we probably will not live how he has been living now. And that is how I believed I found my purpose. I’ve been playing guitar for almost 5 years now. And each day I can see myself improving slowly in terms of musical knowledge and my techniques. I’m leading worship now in my church and thank God I did not sing too badly. I never knew it until just now, that actually all the pictures that I’ve seen, it’s actually one big picture of my life. Before I start typing this all down, I made a prayer to the Lord. I wanted to be good in what I’m doing now which is to be a better musician and a better songwriter so that I can share gospel through the song that I write. I wanted to go many places to have concert to share what Jesus has done in my life. I wanted to be the person that can bring chances to people’s life. Which is all together now a big picture. I sing on the stage, I do my speech on the stage and I went out to do my concert/sharing in other places. I started to think that I am born as a musician to do all these things. I pray and I hope God will use me and also not only me, also to all the musicians who had the same compassions like Jesus towards people.

God sent Jesus to die for us because of this very reason; He had compassions towards the lost ones. This is the Father's heart. I'm touched at this very moment.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Happy Chinese New Year

Happy Chinese New Year to all the chinese who celebrate CNY and also non-chinese who celebrate CNY also.. Hehe..

CNY is a season where there's lots of opportunities to earn money. You can do business on selling mandrin oranges, those CNY biscuits, dry meat (yuk kon), packets drinks, and etc etc. Below is a way to gain some profits during cny and that I find it... "Fresh" in a way.. Anyway, enjoy..

Today I went back to my hometown (stop asking, and yes, I do have hometown), so happened there's a group of kids aging was around 7-14 probably, were asking around for angpau. Oh, they are malays btw.. I was kindda like, ( -,-") man, their face is really thick.. They said this to us, "Gong Xi Fatt Chai aunty uncle. Boleh bagi angpau tak? Tak ada angpau bagi satu ringgit pun boleh". And they were like 7 or 8 of them. They go from one house to another house. It seems that they keeep smilling and laughing all the way.. I don't know whether are they having fun doing this, or do they really get angpau from those houses. I was sitting outsite and out of curious I observed them. Just to know whether can they really get angpau by asking like this. Of course on my side, instead of giving angpau, we gave mandrin oranges to them. Hahaha.. Hey, what do you expect? Give them angpau? 

Maybe when you don't have enough money next time, maybe, I mean seriously consider this.. Hahaha.. Go visit all your friend's house.. At least you'll get RM2 each house. Haha. If you're lucky, you'll meet their relatives as well.. And.... I'm just kidding.. Never do that.. That's just so rude..

Happy Chinese New Year!!