Friday, September 25, 2009

Purpose found!

On the 25th of September 2009, I think I found my purpose in life.

This is a journey of me working in a church for almost a year.

I just came back from a camp. They called it the Diocese Young Adult Camp and some called it the Desperate Young Adult Camp. Nevertheless, it is still an inspiring camp after all. Indeed after I joined the camp, I was desperate. Not desperate as in looking for a relationship, which I already have by the way, but I became more and more desperate for God to reveal His wonderful plan to me. What is really my purpose in my life? I’ve been searching and asking for this question within myself for quite some time since after I worked for the past one year in church. I knew that I am going to serve God full time in the church since I received my ever first time calling from God about 4 years ago. My first calling from God was this one word, “Missionary”, so did the 2nd time. I still remembered it happened when I was in the alpha course training on 2005. And God confirmed me again in 2006 before I went to KK for the Diocese Youth Camp. But this time, God showed me totally different pictures all together. God leads me to two pictures, one is I am singing on stage to many people and another one is, I’m giving my speech on the stage. I dare not to use preaching because I’m not too sure yet. And from there onwards I’m struggled which is the one?? Not until now...

Today as usual I had weekly share group (which function like cell group / Christian fellowship / gathering of believers for those who don’t know what a share group is) and one of my member share his story to us that his laptop was being snatched by a thief. Surprisingly to be honest, I don’t know why my compassion towards the thief somehow is more towards my member. To cut the story real short, they caught the thief but the laptop was broken and the guy was being beaten up like nobody business by strangers and the guy is 49 years old and he’s from Peru. Ended up in police station and the guy is still bleeding without medication provided to him because he’s a “criminal”. I shared this to Jenny, and she told me that she has no idea that "I have such a heavy compassion towards people". At first I was shocked as well when I heard that because I thought everyone will felt the same thing how I felt. She added, “Everything starts first with a heart of compassion”. Indeed I believed what she said was true. Jesus was full of compassions towards his people. I personally think that Jesus will cry or at least weep when He saw His people fighting against one another, quarrelling within a relationship and condemning one another within a friendship. Jesus had compassions those who are sick, those who being abandoned, those who are in need, those who are widow, those who are fatherless, and many more. We always tend to see what is on the surface, but Jesus never sees it that way on us. Like the Peru guy, somehow for most of us we will think that, well, maybe he really deserved it because of what he had done. But to me, I’ve asked myself many questions. If he’s not desperate he will not steal. And why he’s desperate? Maybe because he was in need of cash? Why does he in need of cash? Maybe he’s family is poor and maybe he can’t find a job in his own country. And why he can’t find job in his own country? Maybe he wasn’t well educated. And why he wasn’t well educated? Maybe he did not study when he had his chance to do so. And why did he not study hard? Maybe because of broken family or certain reason that makes him that way. Of course there are thousands of possibilities that caused him to be who he is today.

But imagine this, if he would know God anywhere in between his life, maybe he will not be who he is today. If he just knew that God is his provider, he would not steal. If he knew that God could be someone that can be accountable for, he won’t choose his own path. If he would just knew that God is looking after him, we probably will not live how he has been living now. And that is how I believed I found my purpose. I’ve been playing guitar for almost 5 years now. And each day I can see myself improving slowly in terms of musical knowledge and my techniques. I’m leading worship now in my church and thank God I did not sing too badly. I never knew it until just now, that actually all the pictures that I’ve seen, it’s actually one big picture of my life. Before I start typing this all down, I made a prayer to the Lord. I wanted to be good in what I’m doing now which is to be a better musician and a better songwriter so that I can share gospel through the song that I write. I wanted to go many places to have concert to share what Jesus has done in my life. I wanted to be the person that can bring chances to people’s life. Which is all together now a big picture. I sing on the stage, I do my speech on the stage and I went out to do my concert/sharing in other places. I started to think that I am born as a musician to do all these things. I pray and I hope God will use me and also not only me, also to all the musicians who had the same compassions like Jesus towards people.

God sent Jesus to die for us because of this very reason; He had compassions towards the lost ones. This is the Father's heart. I'm touched at this very moment.